Building Community -- Susan Watkins

(Reflection on Topic of Choice)

Community. My friend Brad is really interested in this topic-- he tells the story of his childhood on military bases which were structured as blocks of houses build around a central courtyard. Since the bases were generally isolated from the surrounding country, all of the families and children on the bases would congregate on those little lawns to have cookouts and spend time together. Everyone knew each other, and in time of need they could rely on their community to support them. The children grew up with the same people, the parents formed long-lasting meaningful relationships, and there was a sense of community that transcended the individual relationship in that block.

Brad feels that this idea of community in America at large is diminishing, and I do too. It seems to me like as time goes on, fewer and fewer people know their neighbors or spend time with those who live near them. Cars make it much easier to go and see friends who live far away, and so it's not as important to build relationships with those near to you. If there is an individual who causes you frustration or irritation, there is no need at all to interact with him or her. Instead you can just flee to a different area and different group of friends.

My mother talked about this phenomenon in relation to her own life when she and my father moved from Michigan to here in Virginia. In MI, my parents had made fast friends with at least four or five families who lived directly near them on the street and had spent a lot of time together playing games, going to shows, or eating meals together. When they came to VA, my mother made a point to try doing the same thing here. To her dismay, she found it almost impossible. The neighbors were willing enough to accept a gift or chat for a few minutes, but were not interested in forming lasting relationships. This has continued until present day, so that while I know most of my neighbors' names at least, I don't know them very well.

Living on a college campus is interesting, because community is so much easier to build in some circumstances and so much harder in others. For example, a great community exists on the street Prince Drew where there are three houses whose inhabitants are all great friends. People are constantly coming and going between houses, and even non-residents flock there each night to watch movies or play games together. It is a center point of life for probably 50+ people on campus. Another example are freshman dorm hallways, where often the residents become so close to their neighbors that they remain friends for the rest of college. All of this because they live in close proximity and are willing to risk new friendships.

East Campus, where I live, is another story. The apartment-style living of the Village makes it very difficult to build community because most people are already living with a close group of friends in their individual apartment and have no real reason to branch out. Many of us are so busy with other commitments that building new relationships is not a priority, and the lack of a central "hang-out" space is probably the most crippling aspect of the building.

It seems like our generation enjoys community when it develops effortlessly, but are rarely willing to go out and struggle to make it. It's unfortunate and something I get more and more passionate about changing.