calder

by Alice Mulford

When I was eighteen, I fell terribly in love with a boy named Calder. It was one of those teen-movie-style unlikely romances that our friends remain baffled by.

I bathe regularly, and he basks in the scents he collects over the days. I drive to work, and he bikes. I have short curly hair, and he has long straight hair. I avoid marijuana, and he seeks it out. I wear underwear in the summer, and he doesn’t. It got a bit more complicated than that, of course. There are the political differences (he’s an anarchist, and when I’m not being apathetic, I lean towards conservatism), but the biggest thing is, well… Calder makes up his religion as he goes along, which is quite the opposite of me. I belong to an old religion, a fairly popular one, I suppose, and one that I learn more about every day. Last I checked, Calder was calling himself a Pan-Psychic, which I have never heard of before and have heard nothing of since.

Despite our religious differences, dating Calder was one of the most pleasant experiences I’ve had in my romantic life.

Calder and I learned a lot about each other and the human experience during our time together. We learned respect. If Calder came to my house for dinner, he complied when my family bowed our heads to ask God for a blessing on our food. When I had dinner at Calder’s, I didn’t angrily challenge his parents when they discussed their involvement with the Unitarian Universalist Church.

I felt a very strong connection between myself and this anomaly of a boyfriend. I still do, in fact, sense our souls talking to each other when we spend time together.

There is something beautiful when two people from two completely different religious backgrounds can stand under a sky full of stars and share the beauty of it without arguing. I often describe ours as a yin and yang relationship.

I think this speaks deeply of a subconscious connection between people no matter their backgrounds. My still-strong friendship with Calder renews my faith in the human ability to relate to each other regardless of where one’s spiritual loyalty lies. It’s something that I hope with all of my heart people can realize.