Fasting and Silence- My Vision Quest (Part 1)

By Janelle Esposito

There are many ways to be connected with food. One can plant their own garden, or hunt their own game, or even have a relationship with the animal they kill. This is connection through production. But one can also be religiously connected to food, through the ritual of fasting. This does not just connect one with food but with the Provider of the food. Carmody’s Original Visions illustrates this connection through the vision quests where young men would go into the wilderness to seek a revelation that could direct their lives. Dr. Redick mentioned that while on these quests they would fast from food in order to focus their meditation and place them apart from their flesh nature.

This has a lot in common with fasting in Christianity, where people fast to seek direction from God, not eating so they can rely more on him through constant prayer. The day we discussed food connections and fasting, I had an urge in me to try it myself. I had been recently trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life after graduation, and a follower of Christ, I had been seeking God in the decision. I decided I needed my own vision quest. While everyone else was gone, I took advantage of staying in Newport News the first two days of Thanksgiving break and fasted from everything but water, fruit and vegetables ( I ate these nutrients because I didn’t want to get sick and they don’t fill you up).

I spent some time on the Noland Trail, praying and admiring the vibrant colors of the fall leaves. It was hard for me to focus because I had not taken that much time to pray in awhile. In western culture, we become too busy and noisy to be silent for just 30 minutes- and this was a two day endeavor. While I was at my house praying, it was even harder to turn off technology and I took some “breaks” to go on the internet. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t done this because it was a terrible disruption to silence I was endeavoring to find. I didn’t drive home for Thanksgiving until my sister and her best friend picked me up Wednesday evening. In the car with two 18 year olds, it became even harder to stay silent in prayer, and my stomach grew hungrier. I am thankful though that I can pray all the time, not just when I am silent (though I find my prayer more satisfying then). When I got home, praying and fasting got even harder, as you can imagine. Relatives were pouring in for some food and football and my parents were hustling around, getting the food prepared. My fast would end at Thanksgiving meal, thankfully, but the noise surrounding me kept me completely distracted from my fast, as well as skeptical family members who said I was only going on a pre-Thanksgiving diet. I could not find the silence I needed to focus on prayer and fasting, and then my mom had me make a pie! The crispy crust I made for the topping looked so crunchy and so good I felt as though I needed to try it out for the benefit of everyone else. It was before the meal started when I cheated on my fast to test out my creation. I’m sure it was much easier in the oral culture of the Lakota Indians to pray and fast during their vision quests. I was only in the “wilderness” of the Noland Trail a few hours, and then I longed for the comforts of a house. I wanted technology and I wanted noise to fill my life. Despite that though, I did spend a good deal of time in silence, what I wouldn’t have done if weren’t the fast.